Conversation you might have with your friend if Ryan Gosling from Drive was really your next door neighbor.
Hey Jennie. Yeah, the new place is alright. They have laundry on premises and there’s a park across the street. The only downside is my neighbor. I don’t know some dude. I’m not sure what his name is. Oh yeah, I’ve asked, like twenty times but he just sort of stares at me. I KNOOOOOW! Like, get it together weirdo. Yeah, you know maybe it is Aspergers or something. The other day he was just sitting out on the patio watching me read. I totally looked up and caught him like “Yo dude, get real right now”. He just smiled at me and kept staring. I could have crawled out of my skin it was that uncomfortable. Is he cute? I don’t know? Does it matter? He can have a crush on me all he wants, totally NOT into it. No, he’s like a total sociopath or something. Yeah, totally like Rick from work. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t have moved into some cool girl I could gab with that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable around in the laundry room when I’m in a tank top. OH, and to top it all off, he murdered someone in front of me last night….. Uuuugh, here he comes, I call you tomorrow. Bye.
